brainwashed.
so, i have many debates in my mind and in conversation. regularly. diet coke vs. coke. mac vs. pc. tupac vs. biggie. and for me they range from, cheap frozen pizza vs healthier other frozen meals. or gatorade vs powerade or who wins in a fight between chuck norris and batman. needless to say i find myself constantly thinking about the finer points of debate. and one debate that i attempt to take part in regularly, is how a Christian looks.
ok, here’s how this works for me. i make a conscious effort to not “look like” a Christian. i don’t wear t-shirts emblazoned with any sort of message of salvation, i generally avoid music that is written by christians to make money in the name of Jesus. i don’t own any bumper stickers or otherwise outwardly “christian” paraphernalia. i generally attempt to dress like the normal population my age, i speak with a vernacular strikingly similar to theirs, and i generally could look from all outward appearances to just be “normal”
my hope and my prayer is that when people get to know me, or see me, or talk to me, they notice that I AM DIFFERENT. not because “i don’t drink i don’t chew i don’t go with girls that do” or because i shudder every time someone says “damn” or i run away from someone holding a beer. but because i love that person regardless. i hope, and pray that everyone who notices me thinks, “for being a christian he seems pretty normal” but eventually, or even from the beginning they see an unconditional love and grace and mercy. they see a kingdom being brought by someone who is attempting to love others and love God. they see a person who looks normal, but has been radically transformed, given a purpose and a mission. they see someone who has joy, even in unfortunate circumstances, they see someone who loves them, no matter what.
all of this being written with the understanding that i fail miserably at doing/conveying this. but it is my goal for that to be the case. here’s the skinny. i don’t know if what i am doing is the right thing? am i supposed to “appear normal” while being different underneath? or should my outward behavior/muscial selection/speech/clothing reflect that i am different. now granted when it comes to speech, obviously there are lines that are not to be crossed, if they break the bounds of love/mercy… but still what do i do?
i am really tired of introducing myself and then when i explain i am a youth minister people shudder and don’t know how to act. i’m really tired of people apologizing to me when they “cuss” around me. i am really tired of people looking at me funny when they find out that i am a man of the cloth. today, one of the kids on the team said i was “the coolest youth minister ever” and at first i was honored, but then i wondered if it was because i didnt care what kind of music he listened to? or because i use sarcasm? or was it because he saw that i loved him, and cared for him? is it really my goal to be cool?
so overall. as a person who desperately wants to follow Jesus, how does that look? i am earnestly asking your thoughts, as i have no idea what this means. i know that John 15:19 says to be in the world and not of it, but what does that even mean? it seems to me that paul was well aware of his culture (Acts 17) and did everyone notice Jesus was different because he had a metallic fish on his donkey, or because he loved everyone unconditionally? does Romans 12:2 mean that i have to look act and think differently? this is a genuine struggle and something i wonder on a daily basis.
is this my excuse to have fun in the world and still call myself a christian? am i completely wrong? i am deathly afraid i am. is it my desire to be approved by man that i want to be cool? or am i right when i say the only reason you should notice a Christian is because they are constantly, irrationally, radically loving people? i have no idea. that is why i ask you. debate below. offer insight, criticize, rebuke. i am open to hear from you.
